Soul Care

Brace yourselves this might be a long one, I guess that’s what happens when I don’t update you guys as often as I should.  I feel like there is a lot to update you guys on, a lot to pray for and just a lot of random thoughts that have been going on in me head.  But I guess I will just start writing and see where we end up.

In March I had two lovely visitors, a grandma and her granddaughter, that came and worked and worked and worked.  They got so much done.  Cleaning and organizing and shelve and coat rack building, but I think the best part of it was the lovely company they were.  Between the lovely morning chats (before the granddaughter woke up) and the endless games of Rook… we won’t say who won most of them.  But it was awesome having them here.

Just a few days after they left my mom and another friend came to visit.  It was also very lovely.  Showing them around Bogota and around Colombia, going to one of my favorite places, Salento and the Valle to Cocora, soooo beautiful and then a cool walking tour and graffiti tour in Medellin.  They were also lovely company, with endless cups of coffee in the morning and games of Farkel, again we won’t say who won most of them. 

Also the past weekend I had a Staff Training weekend before camp starts.  It was a lot of fun and had a handful of people who have never been to camp before, so I am thankful for a bigger pool of staff to choose from and they are all really great so I am thankful for that as well.

The springs have also been flowing which is an answer to prayer.  I can now shower on a regular basis and wash clothes instead of taking them to my friends house to wash.  However the main tank that we pump water from when my tanks are empty is quite empty itself, there was a leak in a house and it DRAINED the whole tank, it will take quite a bit of rain to fill it up to a level where we will be able to pump from it, so please keep praying that the springs keep flowing and that that tank gets filled to the top.

Our bus is also broken down, to the point of no return (its 20 years old) so now we are going to have to rent buses again to get the kids here, which I guess is not the biggest deal, but just requires more coordinating and sometimes its hard to find a good trust worthy bus company.

We also need a nurse on hand at every camp and this has been hard to find.  We still don’t have one for the girls camp that starts on June 1, so please be praying for that.

I am also having to be stricter with permission forms this year and having to have them quiet a few days before for insurance purposes (the insurance company needs to know how many kids will be there before hand), and with this culture, especially with the families that we work with, they like to do things last minute…like the day of, so this might mean this year, or for the first few camps anyways that we might have lower numbers just because permission forms weren’t handed in on time.  We will see how this goes.

I think lastly (while mostly lastly), again if I am being honest, it’s been a hard start to the year.  I was still carrying so much shame and guilt and fear from the accident.  Not really wanting to do camps anymore, just really wanting to be done with all of this.  I was frustrated with other stuff that was going on in the ministry, frustrated with God for unanswered prayers.  For not having a team and having to carry all of this by myself and I really just lost a lot of my joy and passion for camp, for being in Colombia and I think in all my years in Colombia, this is the closest I came to packing up and heading home.  I have had a few friends here telling me to do this Soul Care retreat, and with great resistance I finally signed up for it.  I figured if three different people told me that I should do it, that maybe I should listen and so I signed up and it was AWESOME.  It was a week long and it was so healing.  It was directed towards pastors and missionaries and people in ministry, because 80% of us are living with at least one mental health issues, and 80% of us are living with high symptoms of stress and feel very lonely.   It was really a time of rest and relaxation and we just had morning sessions (just three hours each) and then three one on one sessions in the afternoon where you met with a couple for counselling session.  The group sessions focused on setting up boundaries and limits, about how important it is to take a day of rest, things that are in my control and my responsibility and to let go of the things that aren’t in my control or my responsibility.  And  being able to say no, and saying no guilt free (I think this one is going to take some practice for me).  One of the most impacting teaching for me was serving out of a place as a beloved daughter of a loving Father and not as a servant.  He came to give us life and life to the fullest, and running on emptiness and exhaustion and under constant stress and pressure is not what He wants from us. And finding and doing and making time for the things that I love to do, the things that bring me life and that recharge me.  The one on one sessions were most beneficial to me.  My counsellors were a wonderful couple from the States.  It was so good to just unload on people who know what it’s like to be in ministry (they have been missionaries for over 30 years) to talk to people who have no connection with my ministry here and to just have them listen.  I really can’t express enough how awesome it was and they follow up with me for a year after.  It was the start, cause usually these things are a process is what I am learning, of letting go of this guilt and shame cause they aren’t mine to carry.  Anyways, I hope I didn’t ramble to much on this last past and if you a fellow missionary or pastor or are in ministry I think this retreat is ESSENTIAL, they are called Sonscape retreats and are mostly run out of the Denver, check them out if you would like.

Well I think I should wrap it up.  Please keep the girls 8-10 camp in your prayers, June 1-3.  And please pray for my fear.  I think I am good but as we get closer to camp it can easily sneak back up on me, wrapping the kids up in bubble wrap and making them sit the whole weekend is not an option.

Also please pray for some of the bigger expenses that we need…

A van to replace the bus (we already have one but it doesn’t fit everyone)

A quad, for hauling materials up to the soccer field where we play most of our games and a child just in case someone gets hurt (praying all injuries here on in are nothing more serious then a sprained ankle)

And the next project on the list is a zip line.  We already have $500 towards this.  When my directors get back from the States at the end of this month they will help me price this out.

Well thanks for sticking around to read this all but mostly thanks for all your prayers and support and encouragement.  You are all a huge blessing, both to me and to Camp Gozo.

Blessings